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Some people think that it is good for a country's culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes. Others think that it is better to produce these locally

It is believed that buying international films and television shows might benefit a state’s culture . However , others think that it is better to create them within the local areas. While foreign movies and TV programmes enriches the country’s culture , I strongly support the second opinion because it is related to the local people’s lives.
On the one hand , introducing overseas films and television programmes to a country can be useful to its culture . People will learn more about others culture by watching international movies and shows , leading to cultural exchange . Cultural exchange enriches its culture because they will have more information about how to make their own culture more interesting . Furthermore , the society might change or add some new traditions to its culture by watching non – native films and TV shows, while people cannot get a new information from indigenous ones .
On the other hand , whereas purchasing foreign films and TV programmes enriches the state’s culture , they are irrelevant to its community . Almost all international movies’ genres are science-fiction or fantasy and television shows present their own country problem , while local ones show the daily issues of their own population to help people to solve them . For example , in my native Uzbekistan , uzbeks watch mostly the native movies or TV shows to know about the country’s news and also find solutions to their own ones . Local filmmakers know about indigenous issues and try to broadcast the solutions through the films or TV shows . the most popular movies’ genre and TV shows’ topic in my country is how to strengthen the bonds among young families as the rate of divorce is increasing among newlyweds .
In my opinion , making local films and television shows helps locals to tackle with their issues and makes them aware of their home state’s condition . Therefore , the government should subsidize indigenous films and TV programmes instead of purchasing non-native ones.
In conclusion , whereas it is thought that it is good for a state’s culture to bring non-native films and TV shows , others consider that it is more useful to make them locally . I strongly believe that producing indigenous ones make people to be more aware of their own condition and assist them to address their issues , yet international ones cannot provide this kind of information .

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the argument less clear. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.

Suggestions
  • Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
  • Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph to the main point of the paragraph.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward constructions that hinder understanding. The essay uses a variety of complex grammatical structures with a good level of accuracy. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected for improved clarity.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed with more specific examples and a clearer structure in the conclusion.

Suggestions
  • Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
  • Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well supported by the rest of the essay.