Some people think that mental strength is the most important factor for success in sports. However, some others believe that it is more important to have strong and fit people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

These days, mental power is considered by several people as the most important factor for achievement which is in sports. But some others argue that it is more important to have strong and fit people. This essay will discuss both opinions why it is more important to have fitness people.
Admittedly, mental strength helps athletes stay focused under pressure. Pressure situations, such as critical moments in a game, can cause anxiety or fear, which may lead making mistakes. Mental strength gives the opportunity to avoid distractions and maintain concentration. High-stakes sceneries like penalty kicks in soccer, free throws in basketball, or match points in tennis are where mental strength is particularly crucial. By staying focused, athletes are more likely to perform at their best, execute their skills accurately, and secure crucial points or victories. Without mental power, they may succumb to nerves, overthink, or lose focus, increasing the likelihood of errors and decreasing their chances of success.
On the other hand, physical fitness plays the most important role in sports. Physical fitness improves athletic performance; it provides the strength, endurance, flexibility, and agility needed to perform sports-specific movements efficiently and effectively, reducing fatigue and risk of injury. For instance, Khamzat Chimaev is known for his incredible attributes in MMA. He possesses a combination of reach, strength, speed, and agility that sets him apart from many of his opponents. His physical prowess allows him to execute complex techniques and strategies effectively in the octagon. So, sportspersons can sustain peak performance throughout a game, recover quickly between intense efforts, and have a competitive edge over less fit opponents with their high fitness levels. If an athlete lacks physical fitness, they may tire quickly, struggle to keep up with opponents, perform below their potential, and become more prone to injuries, negatively impacting their performance and career longevity.
As all thing considered, despite mental strength helping sportspersons to be concentrated, physical fitness is more important. This is mainly because it enhances athletic performance. In my opinion, being fit and strong can provide athletes more chances to achieve a success in sports.
Give me an IELTS band score with an explanation every criteria

7.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction clearly states the topic and the writer’s opinion, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The body paragraphs each focus on a single viewpoint, but the discussion within the paragraphs sometimes jumps from one idea to another. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
Ensure that your conclusion fully summarizes the arguments you have made in the essay.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of advanced and topic-specific language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. The writer uses a variety of vocabulary related to the topic, such as “mental strength,” “physical fitness,” and “athletic performance,” effectively conveying the discussion. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. For example, the phrase “making mistakes” could be replaced with “mistakes can be made” for a more formal tone. Additionally, the phrase “a competitive edge over less fit opponents” could be rephrased for clarity.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of grammatical structures, with a variety of sentence types used effectively to convey the discussion. However, there are a few instances of grammatical errors that could be revised for clarity. For example, the phrase “this essay will discuss both opinions why it is more important to have fitness people” could be revised to “this essay will discuss both opinions on why it is more important to have fitness people.” Additionally, the phrase “despite mental strength helping sportspersons to be concentrated” could be revised for clarity and conciseness.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the conclusion could be more comprehensive. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both viewpoints on the importance of mental strength and physical fitness in sports. The writer clearly presents a position that physical fitness is more important, providing reasons and examples to support this view. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant to the topic, effectively framing the discussion. However, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points discussed.