Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shops and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There is a view that people must stop using their mobile phones in public places. While it may seem distracting to others when people are using their phones in such places, I believe they should not be banned because they provide users with availability and accessibility they need.
Some people oppose the idea of using cellphones in public spaces like shops or libraries as they consider it to be interrupting. In such public venues, people may, indeed, distract others if they are having loud phone conversations or texting someone with a clicking keyboard sound. Sometimes, those phone conversations might get tense and people could become obnoxious screaming and yelling to the microphone. This undeniably causes public irritation and distraction, making people feel that it must be forbidden to use mobile phones in such areas.
However, I believe that people must be able to use their mobile devices in public venues. The main advantage they give to people is being available to their family and friends since they are the most used method of distant communication. If people want to keep in contact with their close ones while at work or outside, phones are the universal tool for it. Parents can be a perfect example in point, when they are out shopping or at work, they usually make phone calls to check on their children to make sure that everything is all right with them at home.
Furthermore, mobile phones are crucial for their accessibility, providing individuals with the ability to stay informed and connected. In this fast-paced world, events change in an astonishingly quick rate, which necessitates the use of electronic devices like mobile phones at home or in public, to keep up-to-date with the latest information. If they are banned from certain venues including public transport, supermarkets and cafes, people would lose their ability to access information, which may slow down their personal development or even cause daily life problems.
In conclusion, while some people argue to ban the use of mobile phones in public places due to the distraction they can bring about, in my opinion, individuals should be allowed to use them as they remain the most widely used tool for sourcing information and communication.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Make sure that your ideas are fully developed and explained.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments.