Some people think that people should not change their jobs while others think they should because it brings advantages for themselves, companies and society Discuss both views and give your opinion
Some people think that people should not change their jobs while others think they should because it brings advantages for themselv
There is an ongoing debate whether individuals should stay in one field throughout their entire career or if they should change their professions. While some think that pursuing the same occupation will be more beneficial for everyone, I side with those who consider that switching jobs not only give chances for people to improve their lifestyle but also company and society will also get benefits in the long run.
The idea of sticking to one job during the rest of someone’s career path might be acceptable due to the amount of experience they have gained during working hours. Even if they are not satisfied with what they have been occupied with, they might develop some skills related to their occupations. In turn, this gained skill will be the key factor to get a promotion in the times ahead. Secondly, financial security can also be the most crucial reason of continuing the same job as many people do not want to risk their future lives not knowing how much money is going to be given if they change their jobs.
However, there are many reasons why people should consider changing their career. Initially, some people cannot show their full potential when they have chosen an unsuitable field to work. Not only they will work uneffectively in their workplaces but also they will lose their chances of being specialized on the concentration which makes them even more successful in the future. According to my own views, people’s abilities must match to what they are doing so it is acceptable to change career path completely.
In conclusion, while many people opt for being concentrated on one job because of previous experience and financial concerns , I think it is much better to try a new occupation as many people are capable of working successfully when their abilities are naturally suitable to their jobs.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction clearly states the topic and the writer’s position, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The body paragraphs each discuss a single main idea, but the development of these ideas could be more thorough. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Overall, the essay is coherent, but the cohesion could be improved with better use of linking words and phrases.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences in the paragraph support this idea.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. The writer uses a variety of vocabulary, including terms specific to the topic (e.g., “concentration,” “specialized”). However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity (e.g., “Not only they will work uneffectively in their workplaces” could be revised to “They may not work as effectively in their workplaces”). Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary, but the clarity and precision of the language could be improved with careful proofreading.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of grammatical structures, with a variety of sentence types used effectively. However, there are a few instances of incorrect verb forms and sentence structures that could be revised for clarity. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures effectively, with complex sentences used to convey complex ideas. However, there are a few instances of incorrect verb forms and sentence structures that could be revised for clarity (e.g., “Not only they will work uneffectively” should be “Not only will they work ineffectively”). Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammar and sentence structure, but the clarity and precision of the language could be improved with careful proofreading.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay addresses the topic effectively, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant to the topic. The body paragraphs each focus on a single main idea, which is developed coherently and supported with relevant examples. The essay effectively addresses the topic, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant to the topic. The body paragraphs each focus on a single main idea, which is developed coherently and supported with relevant examples. The essay effectively addresses the topic, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant to the topic. The body paragraphs each focus on a single main idea, which is developed coherently and supported with relevant examples.
Suggestions
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single main idea.
- Provide a clear and concise thesis statement in the introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed.