Some people think that punishment is the best way of teaching children to behave well. Others believe that it is better to reward children for good behaviour. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is opinion that the punishment is the most effective method of teaching young children to be polite. However, there are those who disagree saying that it is more beneficial way reward them for good behaviour. In this essay, I will discuss both these opinions and agree with the letter.
Granted, one might argue that punishment is the optimal approach to teaching young children to behave well. The argument is that the method of teaching children’s behaviour through punishment is not very effectively. The punishment generates very serious side effects on young children , make their lose self confidence , and lead to show emotional behaviours or counter-aggression against the punisher. Wich may contribute to behavioural issues such as Autism. For instance, imagine a child who got more punishment. Over time , this aspect could lead to dramatic change in child temperament and forming unhealthy relationships, ultimately influencing the child’s behaviour negatively.
As reasoning as this arguement might sound. I believe that teaching young children to being well behavioural through rewards is the suitable way. This is because once a child learns wich behaviours create rewards the preferred behaviour will take place even when the parent is not present and also a child who gathered more rewards for thir good temperament they build positive regard toward others. For instance, I always reward my little brother because he too young and he doesn’t know about punishment.My reward will provide a sense of respect and motivation, encouraging him to ramp up his efforts to achieve his goal of receiving more presents in the future. By doing so, other wrongdoings can be reduced without any punishment. This is especially evident in how this method is taught to promote good behavior.
In conclusion, while some people think teaching thought punishment young children to behaviour well that can impact their personality, it is ultimately the punishment of they generate has more profound impact. I believe that they should don’t so, rewarding young children’s it can promote child’s positive treats.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the argument difficult to follow. Additionally, there are some issues with coherence, as the connection between ideas is not always clear. More explicit signposting language could help to improve the overall coherence of the essay.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure that the use of cohesive devices is consistent and appropriate.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which could be distracting for the reader. Additionally, the use of synonyms could be improved to avoid repetition and enhance the overall quality of the writing.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds some variety and interest to the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies in punctuation and spelling, which can sometimes make the writing difficult to understand. Careful proofreading is recommended to ensure that these errors are identified and corrected.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with more specific examples. The conclusion could also be strengthened by summarizing the main points and restating the personal position more clearly.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the argument is fully developed and supported with specific examples.
- Consider providing more specific examples to support the argument.