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Some people think that schools should only teach academic subjects. Others think schools should focus on teaching life skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion

The role of schools in educating children is irreplaceable. While some argue that schools should only focus on academic subjects, others believe that youngsters also need to acquire life skills from school teachers.
On the one hand, many students would find it easy to get into universities if schools concentrated solely on teaching academic subjects. These would allow students to handle any questions that may come up in the university exams, thereby paving the way for their long-term academic success. In addition, studying academic subjects can also minimize the chances of getting rejected by potential employers as they would be looking for academically accurate responses during job interviews. Take Tesla company as an example. Most job applicants without a certain academic degree can not get hired there, since the company’s operations strictly demand employees to have academic skills, such as critical thinking and numberical reasoning.
On the other hand, life, at its core, is not all about academy. Having graduated from school with merely an academic level of understanding, many students may struggle to learn basic skills, such as communicating properly or managing stress, which could impact the quality of their lives. In the absence of these skills, many youngsters report feeling depressed and lonely due to a lack of ability to make new friends and coping with stress.
In conclusion, although teaching academic subjects at school can benefit students in the long-run, I lean towards those who think it is better to educate the younger generation through real life experiences.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and the body paragraphs are well-structured. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there is room for improvement in terms of sentence variety and complexity.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. Both sides of the argument are discussed in a balanced way, and the writer’s opinion is clearly stated. However, the introduction could be improved to more effectively introduce the topic and the writer’s position.

Suggestions
  • Consider revising the introduction to more clearly state your position and engage the reader.
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