Some people think that social media platforms have had a negative impact on both individuals and society. Others believe that they are beneficial and have improved communication and connections. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Social media has became an integral part of digital world,leading to a debate that some people argue that social media apps cause severe complications that cannot be neglected,while others truly believe that it has transformed how we communicate and the way we consume information.From my perspective,although it has helped to communicate with our loved ones regardless of distance issues, excessive use of social media may lead to tremendous complications such as negative emotions and its effect on human being’s behaviour.
On the one hand,some truly argue that social media has gone viral all over the world due to distarctive platforms such as TikTok,Instagram,Facebook and many more,making users addicted to their phones massively,leading to proliferation of excessive use of harmful apps.For example,social platform called Instagram,which is widely available for users with their gadgets,is the main app that millions of people spend their time on, resulting in weakening attention span.Because,they inlude endless number of reels which are 30-40seconds short videos, attracting people to scroll for an entended period of time which brings undeniable mental health complications,leading to increase in stress and anxiety levels which in the long term make people prone to be stressed.Another worth mentioning point is that it is extremely dangerous for individuals’ ayes since ecxessive use of social media,say,more than 4-5hours a day may cause eye strain which is the main health problem millions of people are struggling with,especially teenagers.This is largely caused by blue color that screens absorb,resulting in brain dimentia which has become a widespread disease after the invention of digital devices.People have a dependancy on social media,making phones their part of their life.
Conversely, proponents of social media highlight its comprehensive advantages that has trasformed how we keep in touch with friends and family members regardles of location problems.With the help of social apps like Telegram,the way we communicate with our loved ones changed drastically since it removes geographical barries,making easier to make conversations no matter how far away the distance is.Apart from that,in the past people used to have limited sources to read daily news,for instance,newspaper was the only channel of information,making harder to read latest news due to accessibility but now there are multiple ways that one can have an easy access to a wide range of latest news with a click of button,being absolutely time-saving.
In my opinion,social media not only has a severe impact on mental health but also it can significantly change how we see the world and the way we deal with challanges.Social media marked a shift on our behaviour since spending lots of time talking with people online in front of screens in stead of face-to-face interaction with real individuals,bring a sense of isolation which leads to lack of important skills such as communication which is crucial in their future careers.Those who spend most of their time on internet often lack resilience and self-relience which causes severe problems.They often give up when they fave challenges instead of facing them head-on.
In conclusion, although social media may serve as an ideal source of information,but its negative impact on human being’s mentality and mental health problems puts users in a troubling situation.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the flow of ideas and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors in grammar and punctuation. However, there are some sentences that are unclear or ungrammatical.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your arguments and support them with specific examples.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to make your position more persuasive.