Some people think that the best way to increase the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries. Others believe that it is more important to improve the school facilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
According to some people, In order to improve the quality of education, governments should increase the amount in salaries of tutors. Opponents, however, argue that it is a better way to enhance the facilities of the schools. Both views are rational in their own ways, but I would agree with the later group of people.
On the one hand, there are some reasons why it is advised to increase the salaries of the teachers. Firstly, Unless the government raises the amount in the salaries of the teachers, there can be a change in the performance of tutors to teach children efficiently. As a consequence, teachers teach children with effective ways to learn faster and efficiently. Another argument could be the change of strictness while teaching students in the lesson. This could make improvement in learning lessons effectively by the children.
On the other hand, it could be better to enhance the facilities of the educational areas in order to make improvements in the quality of education. Of course, if the government provides necessary items to the schools, there can be alteration in the condition of learning. For instance, most of the schools didn’t have smart TVs in the rooms, and it is necessary to describe the lessons like biology. Moreover, It is needed to provide schools with lunchrooms. Because, most of the scientists say that unless people are hungry, they cannot learn anything efficiently. Thus, it is necessary to improve the facilities of the schools.
To sum up, while there is some truth to the idea that the increase of salaries,I believe that the improvement in the facilities of the schools are more reasonable.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph and to clearly connect them back to the main topic.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, but these do not impede communication. The essay uses a variety of complex grammatical structures, and the majority of sentences are free from errors. However, there are a few instances of incorrect verb forms and sentence structures that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both views and providing the writer’s opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay could provide more specific examples to support its points. Additionally, the conclusion could more effectively summarize the main points and clearly restate the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your arguments and support them with specific examples.
- Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly restates your opinion.