Some people think that the best way to increase the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries. Others believe that it is more important to improve the school facilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
According some people, increasing the teacher’s salaries for fix the education. However, their other opponents think that the government should focusing to the school facilities. While these both views seem to have strong arguments. I agree that first opinion.
On the one hand, teachers can work very well, if the government rise their monthly salaries. Further, they give quality knowledge to students and also they give extra assignments for improvement on their studies. To explain, some teachers do not good teach who is take less money for monthly. As a result, children suffer from bad education. In the future, students may not enter the university cause of teacher’s mistakes. I think this issues a big problem regarding education. There are several idea for prevent this problem. Firstly, government should changing professional teachers instead simple and secondly, teachers should be provided with bigger salaries through Minister of Education. In my opinion, despite modernizing the education, some reasons are being without solving.
One the other hand, other people are telling to solve with other the best way. In other words, they want to improve school’s facilities. This idea can give good improvement to students and also the school can famous around the region’s elementary schools. Furthermore, children learn with pleasure. For example, school repaired for new year and all students, teachers and others will be happy which is better education and good facilities. I think this idea is not bad. So that’s why, this suggest is very well for increasing school position. To conclude, I prefer that both views, because they can rise of education quality. So I want to see achievement of both suggests.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these errors do not generally impede communication, and the overall impact on the reader is minimal.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both views and providing the writer’s opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay would benefit from more specific examples to support the points being made.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with specific examples.