Some people think that the best way to succeed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

The importance of higher education often sparks speculations. Some people adhere to the opinion that an academic diploma is the key to success, while the opposite group considers higher education lost its essential role in one’s life in the 21 century. I personally believe that an academical diploma is one of the main factors in achieving success
On the one side, people, including me, believe that tertiary education provides undeniable advantages. The major benefit is that university students often have almost unlimited access to knowledge. In the process of learning, students often have lectures with professional teachers, carrying out their tests with specific equipment and in laboratories (if subject require it) and they work with wide range of materials. Moreover, many universities send their students for practical work as assistants to professionals to gain experience. As a result, graduated people have set of knowledge and skills to be successful in their sphere. Scientific research shows that most celebrities have attended universities
On the other side, there are some reasons why higher education is not relevant today. Primarily, thanks to modern technologies, there is an opportunity to achieve success without any diplomas. Self-education has become more popular and more effective compared to past due to the development with the AI. Moreover, on the Internet there are a lot of step-by-step guides which are useful for newcomers to get basic information and for specialists to enhance their abilities simultaneously. It’s especially relevant in the sphere of IT or logistics systems, where an academic qualification is not the significant factor of recruitment and where a lot of workers earn high high salary, but without an diploma
In conclusion, higher education offers advanced and detailed information through practices and lessons with specialists, while using the Internet, there are prospects to reach high goals by self-education. It seems to me, that the former suggestion is closer with my beliefs

7.0

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “scientific research shows that most celebrities have attended universities” could be rephrased as “research indicates that a significant number of celebrities have attended universities.” Additionally, “a lot of workers earn high high salary, but without an diploma” is awkward and could be rephrased for clarity.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and is generally grammatically accurate. However, there are some minor errors that could be corrected. For example, “I personally believe that an academical diploma is one of the main factors in achieving success” should be “I personally believe that an academic diploma is one of the main factors in achieving success.” Additionally, “where a lot of workers earn high high salary, but without an diploma” is grammatically incorrect and should be rephrased for clarity.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both the importance of higher education and the relevance of self-education. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be further developed in places. For example, in the second body paragraph, the writer could provide more specific examples of how self-education has led to success in various fields.