Some people think that the best way to succeed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.
In recent years, there has been a growing debate about the importance of university certification. Some people sure that it’s vital thing to achieve success, while others don’t support this idea and prefer to reach it by their skills. I surely believe that education is part of us and foundation of our skills , knowledge and mindset.
To begin with my personal opinion the most reliable way to get success is university degree , that provides certain knowledge and improve our creativity, critical thinking and help to be better in our sphere . Moreover, studying at university open doors to superior future because of communicating with professors and receiving their assist to find desired job. Also , by studying in a group we can develop our communication skills . What encourages to know more about people , exchange ideas or culture and to combine having fun with friends and studying. Additionally, a lot of prominent companies look for well qualified employees , even after having a job it helps to have a good reputation among colleagues. Nevertheless certain fields like medicine , law and engineering require university degrees for professional credibility and expertise.
On the other hand can take years to have university degrees and a lot of effort, while we can just start working using our skills. Furthermore, studying at university requires payment that is expensive sometimes. This circumstance , where lower-income families cannot afford education lead to inequality. Although there are a lot of opportunities for people as online courses or entrepreneurship programs that provides necessary skills. Many successful entrepreneurs, for instance, like Elon Mask or Steve Jobs succeeded without traditional degrees.
By the way of conclusion,I want to mention that it requires particular knowledge to find a job and to reach success despite the ways to get skills as with studying at university or getting a course. Therefore, after delving into both sides of this phenomenon I still believe that only universities can provide required education for us and help to develop our future
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that can be distracting for the reader. The essay uses a variety of complex and simple sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that can be distracting. Some sentences are also quite long and could be split into shorter, more concise sentences for better clarity.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. Both sides of the argument are discussed in a balanced way, and the writer’s opinion is clearly stated and supported. However, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly restating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly restates your position.
- Continue to provide clear and relevant examples to support your points.