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Some people think that the government should provide assistance for artists such as musicians, painters, and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is an ongoing debate about whether the government should provide financial assistance to artists, such as musicians and painters. Though some find it helpful, to others, the whole process is a waste of money. I find that the government should support the more essential sectors, like healthcare and education, instead of financially supporting the arts.
Arguably the most direct reason the government should fund artists is that art adds to our culture and to society. Public art beautifies our cities and makes them interesting to live in, while music festivals bring people together. Most great artists suffered at the beginning of their careers and thus without government support, society would have more than likely missed out on some great cultural adds to our lives.
This government fund can be spent much wiser on other activities, which would directly affect people’s lives. The building of hospitals, schools, and roads creates value for all people instantly. Unlike healthcare or education, art should be able to flourish through private funding-galleries, collectors, and streaming platforms. That means artists have alternative avenues to seek support, not so in the case of the other above-mentioned basic public services dependent on the government.
In conclusion, governments have to face the point of priorities in funding such a public service. Citizens’ basic needs have to be catered for first, whereby public funds can be utilized where need be.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
  • Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the points you have made in the essay.

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples.

Suggestions
  • Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments.
  • Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single idea or argument.