Some people think that tourism endangers culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a view that tourism can hurt culture. While I acknowledge that globalization and interconnection of the world has valid arguments, I also believe that it should be useful for two reasons.
On one hand , I believe that a significant reason for its validity is globalization. That is to say , while globalization allows for more culture diffusion, interconnection of the world leads to better openness of the world to travel , meaning that people could be fascinated by cultural diversity. A good case in point is Qatar , it has successfully used tourism to build its cultural features, attracting people to its festivals and architectural landmarks.This results that governments facilitate the spread of their heritage showcasing educating and inspiring tourists about the richness of local traditions.If it were not for governments to develop their tourism, people would just flock into .
On the other hand I also think that globalization plays an equally crucial role in cultural diffusion .To put into perspective, when tourism bring some economic benefits, it often leads to cultural diffusion , meaning that the culture and heritage is overshadowed by foreign tourists . For instance , many historical sites have become place for tourism , loosing their history due to the demands of tourists. By prioritizing features over traditions , societies risk losing their history and heritage , thereby showcasing the dangers of globalization. If tourism regulated more effectively, this looses would be minimized. The aforementioned arguments demonstrate why tourism could negatively effect on culture.
In conclusion, although there are valid arguments against tourism due to its impact on historical sites ,it is equally important to consider that tourism could be effective because it promotes interconnection of the world and spread of its features.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to clearly state your position in the conclusion and summarize the main points.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that can be distracting for the reader. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures effectively, with a good balance of simple and complex sentences. However, there are a few grammatical errors that could be corrected for clarity and precision.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the task, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places, and the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the argument is fully developed and supported with specific examples.