Some people think the best way to succeed in life is to get a university education,while others disagree and say that is no longer true Discuss both views and give your own opinion
There is a debate that university is the only path to be successful.While some say university can provide networking and career opportunities, I strongly believe that it can caused to waste of time and financial strain
On the one hand, the advantages of university education are more significant,with main one networking opportunities.In the university, only the selected people can study and this can be worked as building ideas or learning new things together.For example during the many university semesters, students have to work as a team in order to pass the exam and not only it can leads to exchange their opinions with each other but also it can build team environment
Many people think that studying in university give rises to wasting time.In other words, There are many free and cheaper alternatives to a university degree.People can access to find many beneficial videos in the internet instead of spending 4-8 years at the university.For example, You tube where there are numerous free videos such as computer graphic lessons,business and management, or marketing.Moreover, university education can be high-priced. If students study abroad for educational institution, students not only focus on academical assignments but also they need to find money for tuition fees and other expenses including housing and living cost, food, transportation and book supplies.This economic burden can impact on an academical performance and their family’s economic situation negatively
In my conclusion, Although there is some upsides of university with communication skills, I hold my view that university may cause to wastage of time and money
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the key points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the key points and clearly state your opinion.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can be distracting for the reader. Additionally, the use of more formal language could be increased to better match the tone of an academic essay.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of complex grammatical structures, and the majority of sentences are well-constructed. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can hinder the reader’s understanding. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors and improve the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. Both sides of the argument are discussed, and the writer’s opinion is clearly stated. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages of university education and the arguments against it. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main point to be discussed.