Some people think the best way to succeed in life is to get a university education,while others disagree and say that is no longer true Discuss both views and give your own opinion
There is a debate over which is the best path to success, with some saying university is the only option,while others think there is no need for higher education.In my opinion,getting university degree is important.
On the one hand university education has been developed,university degree often opens door to get a professional or better job opportunities ,as employers tend to bring their qualification when they get a job.Not only university provides certificate but also students can get knowledge,critical thinking,skills and life experience.For instance, professions such as law,medicine,management require a formality education that cannot be deputy by self-learning
On the other hand many people increasingly think that university degree is not only path to success.With the high statistics ,there many successful individuals have achieved remarkable things without formal education degree.For example skill based careers:like graphic design,marketing there are no need to qualification certificate.Additionally there are a lot online platforms where you can earn money without any difficulties which means you can easily make career without studying in higher education.
In conclusion although working without degree or studying can have positive sides and do not wasting time and money,but I believe that to be successful in a life and career,need professional jobs,which can require with a high amount of money.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which could be refined for better clarity and precision.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, but these do not impede communication. The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can be distracting. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors and improve the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the debate on the necessity of a university education for success. The writer presents a clear position, supporting the need for a university degree. However, the argument could be more fully developed, with more specific examples and a clearer structure in the body paragraphs. The conclusion is somewhat repetitive and could be more concise and impactful.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with specific examples.
- Avoid repetition in the conclusion and make it more concise and impactful.