Some people think the only purpose of prison is to punish crime. Others think it has other functions. Discuss the two views and give your opinion.
There are heated debates over the role prisons play in society. While some feel that the sole aim of these institutions is punishment, others, including myself, believe that they have other functions which are equally important.
Admittedly, supporters of the former view have some arguments to justify their position. One of these is + noun // the fact that + subject + verb the disciplinary nature of jails. Once convicted, it is no secret that offenders will be subjected to a range of moral instructions by officers and, in some cases, corporal punishments. All these are done to ensure that wrongdoers feel guilty and sorry for their misdeed and that they become law-abiding citizens upon serving their sentences. Another way convicts are punished is through menial jobs. Governments don’t want to invest their resources for no benefit, so criminals are assigned challenging tasks of mining, construction and cleaning. This sort of punishment is likely to be an effective deterrent of crime.
I, however, take issue with the idea that prisons’ only role is to punish offenders; they have a wider part to play in society. First and foremost, prisons educate society, especially the young segment of it, about the negative consequences of committing a crime. Jails, in other words, instill fear into the hearts of people that any misdeed – be it burglary, theft, or minor delinquencies – is punishable by law and criminals might ruin their lives by disobeying the law. Aside from this, prisoners have the opportunity to learn crafts while serving their sentences. This is because they tend to have a large amount of free time, which allows them to master skills including, but not limited to, woodwork, pottery, and dressmaking. These useful skills can be valuable sources of income when these convicts are set free, and can be an incentive to start their lives anew.
In conclusion, although some reduce the purpose of prisons to punishment, I support those who argue that these correctional institutions also have moral and educational aims.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the point you are making.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. Both sides of the argument are discussed in detail and supported with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be stronger.
Suggestions
- Try to make your conclusion more impactful. You could summarize your main points and restate your position more clearly.