Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
There is a view that many people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old i believe that young people need knowledge and they need future career and job at school learn full time education
Nowadays many schools need to full time education young people learn a different subject and knowledge but today at school teach children and young people learn time different hours. This is them do not have free time other activities many parents want to school is very well learn subjects and lessons full time education. Some people commonly take high school study for granted then do not usually learn very well. Young people being suffered from pressure or event mental symptoms. Young people spent time with family at school early time go to school to they lack attention and effort nowadays.
Many country young people go to school free time and own plant have full time until they are at least 17 years old. Many young people go to other subjects for example foreign language, sport, art activities. Children should 7 years beginners school why them brain well learn organtions subjects well. Young people get university finished school currently school hours typically require a high school graduation degree provides import skills for students future work in my country at school age average 7 or 8 go to school best time.
In conclusion, at school average graduating 17 or 18 age full time education because they will have sufficient time to be organised for their future work or career helpful throughout the whole life.
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the organization of ideas is not clear, and there is a lack of proper linking between sentences and paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate, affecting the overall coherence of the essay.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing.
- Make sure each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary and there are several instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. Some words are repeated and there are few collocations. Spelling and punctuation are often faulty, which can make the text difficult to read.
The essay uses a very limited range of grammatical structures and there are several grammatical errors. Punctuation and sentence formation are often faulty, which can make the text difficult to read.
The essay addresses the topic by discussing the importance of full-time education for young people until at least the age of 18. The writer presents a position, but it is unclear and not well supported throughout the essay. Some main ideas are difficult to identify, and there is a tendency to include irrelevant or repetitive information.
Suggestions
- Make sure to fully develop your arguments and provide specific examples to support your points. Avoid repetition and make sure each point is unique and contributes to your overall argument.