Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?
Music, art, and drama are deemed by some to be of the same importance as other subjects, particularly in primary school. This essay agrees with the statement because these subjects have a tremendous impact on students’ creativity at this age, and they might help some to choose a career path.
The inclusion of fine art in the primary school curriculum positively affects pupils creative thinking. During these classes, not only do students have an opportunity to paint, sing or act, but also their creativity is challenged. This is because one correct outcome does not exist when painting or playing an instrument; thus, students discover that engagement in music, art, and drama offers them a plethora of ways of expressing themselves. In Scandinavia, for example, where primary schools offer a sound number of these types of classes, young people demonstrate outstanding ability to be creative, which reflects in a number of designers and architects coming from this region.
Having an opportunity to participate in music, art, and drama classes could potentially help some youngsters figure out what they are really passionate about. As a result, this passion could turn into a career path. Should primary school offer frequent exposure to fine art, then it could create empowering atmosphere, where pupils feel encouraged to believe that they can become artists. To illustrate, most of the famous artists decided to pursue this type of career due to a primary school teacher who awoke this interest in them.
In conclusion, I personally agree with a belief that the importance of fine art in the primary level of education is equal to other subjects because it stimulates creativity, and in some cases, empowers youth to become painters, sculptresses, or actors.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly structured. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay provides relevant, extended and supported ideas.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.