Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.
In today’s world, many people are captivated by dangerous sports and other activities. I think that it is a result of dramatic change in people’s life. Some feel, joining in risky sports is not safe for individual who fulfills them.
As is known, we tend to do dangerous sports in order to be health in our life. By training tough sports, a person is able to feel as strongly and as in a freedom. Because dangerous sports consist of climbing a mountain, using of guns skiing where snowy places and others. They can assist us to have a feeling as amazingly and as cheerful as well as, by being spectacular mood which the life may not be seemed as tedious for our lives. For instance, the politician people and one who works at academic places are fed up with working and teaching. Because their lives are not dissimilarity than yesterday. Without effortless activities are able to help them not to get bored to their workaholic. In a consequence, many people opt to do dangerous activities solely for health.
Furthermore, some dangerous sports can be fearsome for human being’s life. Most of us would like to do them in spite of killing us. Because tough activities are incredibly attractive and it can concentrate us do them. For example, more people are interested in taking part in the competition of the Race-cars. During the competition, participants have to drive rapidly than their rivals in order to be winner. It is glaringly obvious; there are wrecks among the attainders. Consequently, many people are scared from doing dangerous sports for not to be damaged by them.
In conclusion then, I believe that doing some types of dangers sports is safe for our life. Also, these can be emotion for each person’s mood and it cannot make a problem to organism.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a basic structure, but the organization of ideas could be improved. The introduction and conclusion are somewhat repetitive, and the body paragraphs could be more focused. The use of transitional phrases is limited, which affects the overall flow of the essay. Additionally, the connection between ideas within paragraphs could be clearer. More cohesive devices and a clearer paragraph structure would enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences in the paragraph support this idea.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use less common and idiomatic language. However, there are several instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. More accurate and varied vocabulary would enhance the overall quality of the essay.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that can hinder the reader’s understanding. These include errors in subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and preposition use. Some sentences are also awkwardly phrased, which can affect the overall clarity and coherence of the writing. More focus on grammatical accuracy and sentence structure would improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task and provides a relevant response. However, the response could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the reasons why people participate in dangerous sports and suggesting ways to mitigate the risks. However, the response is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth in some areas. The essay could benefit from a more focused discussion and specific examples to support the points made. The conclusion could also be more substantial. More specific examples and a deeper analysis of the topic would enhance the overall response.
Suggestions
- Ensure that your response is fully developed and supported with specific examples.
- Avoid repetition and strive for a more concise and focused discussion.