Space exploration is a waste of resources compared to solving problems on Earth
It is said that exploring space is wasting resources compared to solving Earth’s problems. I definitely agree with this issue because it is putting people’s life in danger and using too much money on exploration.
Cosmic discovery is putting individuals’ life on risk, however, there are a high level of death rate is observing on Earth. One major cause of increase in mortality rate is an availability of a number of cars in cities. Due to that many car crashes and car accidents happening with leading to end someone else’s life. Instead of solving such kind of problems with lengthening roads or putting more road signs for example, space research should not be done, because it may result in fatality too. There are a lot of space related problems which may cause danger for person’s life. For instance, while flying on a plane a cosmic object may collide with it, and then the airplane starts to go down and explode. So, instead of ending someone’s life due to astronomical research, death rate should be decreased on Earth first.
Cosmic investigation needs a huge amount of money, but problems which are solved only with the help of money are also enough on Earth. Space exploration needs many cosmic devices like planes, cosmic watches, headphones, cosmic clothes and others which cost really expensive because these are made with high quality in order to last for a long time. For example, a person who is flying for space investigation will be there for more than a year because he explores there at one attempt without returning Earth. As their way is dangerous, they will not pass through it many times, they just go and come back. So, cosmic devices should be tight enough for a long years which is the result of being expensive. In contrast, money is really crucial on Earth. To illustrate, there are people who cannot go to hospitals as they have financial problems, there are people who do not have place for living, sustenance for eating, those are indeed need money for buying food and home. Therefore, problems on Earth should be solved first rather than spending them for space discovery.
In conclusion, troubles on Earth like a high death rate and challenges that can be handled with money should be addressed first in spite of wasting resources for cosmos exploration.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in organizing the information. However, there are some issues with coherence in the body paragraphs, as the ideas seem to be somewhat disjointed and not always clearly connected to each other. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices could be improved to help guide the reader through the text and make the relationships between ideas more explicit.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of the essay and make the relationships between ideas more explicit.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are some inaccuracies and inappropriate word choices. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some use of more complex and formal language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be clarified to improve the overall quality of the writing.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there is a good range of structures. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can be distracting. The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a range of sentence structures and grammatical forms. However, there are some errors in agreement, tense, and word form that can be distracting and detract from the overall clarity of the writing. Additionally, there are some issues with punctuation that can also affect the readability of the essay.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay clearly addresses the prompt, presenting a position that space exploration is a waste of resources compared to solving Earth’s problems. The argument is supported with relevant examples and explanations, although there could be more specific evidence provided to strengthen the overall case. Additionally, the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the position taken.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support the arguments. This will help to provide more concrete evidence to support the position.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and that all sentences in the paragraph contribute to the overall argument.