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There is a view that the poor, who are unable to buy a home for themselves, should be ensured with governmental support by donating them a shelter.I totally disagree with this perspective ,as it is not a truly appropriate way to ensure citizens always with desired facilities.In this essay ,I will shed light on the reasons and give my ideas
Nowadays,a crowd of individuals are becoming homeless in every part of the world, leading to some concerns as to their life.As far as I am concerned,giving houses away to homeless people triggers some issues for the finance of country.Besides,the government cannot let them get everything they want ,given the country financial situation .But the only thing people are given through charity is the homes ,therefore those people also should work hard themselves in order to pay the bills and other taxes .
Apart from that ,The authority is not capable of supplying the homeless with the living place , especially today in big countries like India as well as China ,it is hard to say that poor people rare and they have enough budget to give them in the purpose of getting a home,with the number of humans increasing dramatically.
All in all ,I think although distributing free homes to homeless people blossoms the bond between the citizens of a country and the body,the government ought to provide the poor with a job so as to let them fulfil their own standards of life ,instead of giving houses away.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph and connect them back to the main argument.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these do not generally hinder communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good understanding of grammar and punctuation rules. However, there are a few errors that could be corrected to improve clarity and accuracy.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the idea that the government should support the poor by providing them with shelter. The writer clearly disagrees with this view and provides reasons for their opinion. However, the argument could be further developed with more specific examples and a deeper analysis of the counter-argument.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your argument.
- Consider addressing potential counter-arguments to strengthen your position.