Students are becoming more and more reliant on the Internet. While the Internet is convenient, it has many negative effects and its use for educational purposes should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Digital world development causing more reliance on social media in students . Although it is advantageous, some drawbacks can be noticed . There is a view that internet use need to be limited to reach academic pursuits. While I think it is necessary to restrict screen time as excessive use of unsorted resources results in threat to safety, I believe that there are variety of digital educational platforms which contradicts the statement.
The internet has become an integral part of students’ life. Majority of tasks are accomplished via the tool as it offers convenience and speedy response. However, the more they use the more addicted they are becoming. Frequently the digital platforms contains a plenty of data which can seem appealing to youth. As it refers to sorting into useful and harmful media , not all students especially young ones are not able to do that which is due to lack of life experience. They need proper guidance .Therefore, I believe that restrictions on usage of network is a thoughtful solution to the case .
On the other hand, platforms with educational purposes offer a large number of facilities . The convenience of use avoids the issues such as lack of money, time and appropriate place. It is a type of tool which do not require supplementary equipment. The top universities of the world widely teach the learners all over the world. According to research, it helped to promote useful skills and knowledge among people. Thus, the reduction of online usage can be an obstacle for people obtaining valuable knowledge via media.
In conclusion, I think that the dependence on internet should be controlled by guidance as means of safety. However online platforms possess a lot of advantages which can offer wide access to personal development .

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s position.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the overall quality of the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more precise and varied language could help to strengthen the argument.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of internet use for students. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s position.