Studies show criminals don't have a high education level. Some people believe we should educate prisoners so they can have a job after they leave prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
While it is true that the majority of offenders cannot find jobs as they lack of appropriate knowledge and skills, I firmly believe that authorities should allocate money to provide education for prisoners.
There are several reasons why there should be qualified individuals to teach criminals, while they are in prison. First and foremost, it is beneficial for citizens themselves as prisoners without knowledge and skills would not be able to find even a normal work. This, in turn, means that this circumstance would enforce them to do what they did. For example, in Uzbekistan, a significant number of criminals, who were released from prisons, started committing crimes again as most of organizations are unwilling to hire employees who do not have even basic education level.
Additionally, not only does it provide the low rate of crime, but it also may prevent teenagers from doing illegal acts. As with the right knowledge, prisoners can be employed in schools or even being psychologists in the police, and communicate with young people who committed unlawful actions. By having a conversation with ex criminals about their own stories and experience, I think with the help of these people, youngsters can be directed back on the right path. As a result, offenders would be able to improve their quality of life and also prevent others from doing wrong acts.
In conclusion, in my opinion, by providing the specialists in jails to teach prisoners about various professions, it will not only reduce the rate of crime overall, but also help teenagers to not repeat the same mistakes as criminals did.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your examples are directly relevant to your argument.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “offenders,” “criminal acts,” “education,” and “psychologists.” However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical errors that affect the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the importance of providing education for prisoners and the potential impact on recidivism and youth crime. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be further developed to provide more depth and detail, and the conclusion could more fully reflect on the implications of the argument.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and provide sufficient detail and examples to support your position.