task 1
The pie charts provide information about how many journal articles read by all students, PhD students and Junior lecturerd in per week at an Australian university.
From an overall perspective, it is clear that PhD students read more journal articles than other groups.It is also worth mentioning that junior lecturers reading journal articles was mediocre among all types.
In detail, all students and junior lecturers read less than other group. The persentages of 1-5 journal articles read of all students was 67 %, while that of junior lecturers showed a negligble amount at 1%. Meanwhile, the proportions of 6-10 read journal articles was higher in junior lecturers with three quarter, the figure for all students was 21%. The persentage of 12 or more read journal articles of Junior lecturers was 24 %, while that of All students showed a half amount of it.
As for PhD students, most of them read more than 12 articles with 80 % in per week. The quantity of 6-11 read journal articles was a fifth in per week. However, the number of 1-5 read journal articles of PhD students was a negligble amount at 5 % in per week.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the information. The use of cohesive devices is generally effective, linking ideas and sentences well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of information could be improved, particularly in the detailed analysis of the data.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to improve the flow of information and create a more cohesive argument.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences within the paragraph are closely related to that topic.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, particularly in terms of quantifiable data (“a quarter”, “three quarters”). However, there are some inaccuracies in the use of prepositional phrases (“in per week” could be more naturally expressed as “per week”).
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of grammatical structures, with a range of sentence types used effectively. However, there are some inaccuracies in the use of articles and prepositions, as well as some minor errors in verb tense and agreement.
The essay provides a clear overview of the information presented in the pie charts, including key trends and notable data points. The analysis is detailed and specific, with all relevant data points mentioned. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit comparison of the data across the three groups, as well as a clearer statement of the overall trend.
Suggestions
- Consider explicitly comparing the data across the three groups in different parts of the essay to provide a more comprehensive analysis.
- Clearly state the overall trend or conclusion at the beginning or end of the essay to provide a more structured and coherent analysis.