TASK 1 Essay
The line graph demonstrates the proportion of tourists who visited the Art Gallery, Pavilion, Pier and Festival of Brighton in England over a 30-year period from 1980 to 2010.
Overall, what stands out from the graph is that the number of people who went to the Festival and Art Gallery witnessed a decrease, while the percentage of Pavilion and Pier saw a noticeable rise.
Another striking feature is that the Festival was the most popular place in the initial years, which was replaced by the Pavilion from 1985 to 2010. Moreover, the Art Gallery which was the third most preferable event in the beginning of the period then dropped to an all time low point in 2010 and was overtaken by Pier.
Regarding the least popular attraction, Pier, its proportion started at 10% in 1980 following some fluctuation in the next 25 years. Then, this percentage sharply increased from about 15% in 2005 to roughly 21% in just half a decade. Likewise, the Pavilion attracted only 23% of tourists at the start of the period, this number hit its peak at almost 49% in 1995 following the dramatic decrease down to 31% at the end of the period.
On the other hand, despite the fact that the Festival had the best result at 30% in 1980, the percent of visitors saw a slight reduction down to about 29% in the 30-year period. Additionally, about 20% of people chose the Art Gallery to attend in 1980 which reached its highest point of almost 37% after 5 years, faced a sharp trough in the 25-year period and stopped at 9% in 2010.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the data. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve flow.
- Clarify the relationship between the trends.
- Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea.
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, but there is room for more precise word choices.
The grammar is generally accurate with a variety of sentence structures used.
The essay successfully addresses the task, summarizing and comparing the main features of the graph.
Suggestions
- Include more specific data points for clarity.
- Ensure all trends are clearly explained.