Task 1 The chart below shows the amount of money given to developing countries from five organisation from 2008 to 2011.
The bar chart shows the quantity of money received by developing countiries from five organization between 2008 and 2011.Overall, organization 2 contributed to the largest amounts over the four-year period while organization 4 showed the opposite and 3 organization experienced fluctuations.
In 2008, organization 1 provided the amount of approximately 0.5 billion dollars,which gradually increased each year and reaching around 0.7 billion dollars in 2011.Organization 2 displayed the highest figures, starting from about 1.5 billion dollars in 2008 and significantly rising to roughly 2.7 billion dollars in 2011, its donation was the greatest among the four organizations.
Organization 3’s contributions were relatively stable, rounding about 2 billion dollars from 2008 to 2011.In contrast, organization 4 consistently provided under 1 billion dollars all years , with minor variations across the years.As for organization 5’s donations, there was a considerable decline from 1.3 billion in 2008 to 0.5 billion dollars im 2010 , and this was followed by a minimal drop to 0.4 billion dollars in 2011.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the data. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and there is a good overall progression. However, there are a few instances where the flow of information could be improved.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all information in the paragraph is relevant to that topic.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances where the choice of tense is questionable and could be clarified.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The essay also provides specific details to support the main points. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more detailed comparison of the organizations’ contributions.
Suggestions
- Try to provide a more detailed comparison of the organizations’ contributions. This could involve discussing the differences between the organizations in more depth, or providing more specific data about each organization