Task 1: The graphs below compare the water levels of six cities in Australia during October 2009 and October 2010. Provide an overview of the information by identifying and describing the key details, and include comparisons where appropriate. Water levels in reservoirs (% of maximum) 120 100 80 60 Percentage 40 20 O Darwin Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Perth Canberra Oct 2009 Oct 2010
The bar chart illustrates water reservoirs in six Australian cities—Darwin, Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth, and Canberra—for 2009 and 2010, measured as a percentage of maximum capacity.
Overall, Sydney and Canberra were two cities with the largest water supplies in both given years, with their reservoirs filled with more water over the year. In fact, Canberra was filled with maximum water in October. While Melbourne and Perth grow substantially, the reverse was observed in Darwin city, where its water level decreased by double. Brisbane, however, was one city that stayed unchanged over the past two years.
The water level in the Sydney reservoir amounted to about 79 percent in 2009, slightly increasing to 80 percent in the year 2010. Canberra’s water supplies also increased but more significantly from an initial 78 percent to approximately 99 percent in 2009 and 2010, respectively.the rise of the water reservoir was observed In other parts of Australia. In both Melbourne and Perth, the amount of water supply had soared with significant change, the former being much lower in 2009 with above 20 percent to under 40 percent, the latter, however, figuratively doubled, starting from 21 and ending with 40 percent in 2009 and 2010.
Darwin, contrastingly with the above-mentioned cities, decreased the amount of water reservoir at 42 percent in 2009, halved by declining to 22 percent a year later. Brisbane Water Reservoir, on the other hand, had the same amount of water in both given years, at only 55 percent
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The information flows well with appropriate use of cohesive devices. However, there are a few areas where the flow of information could be improved.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Consider using more topic sentences to clearly introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence structure.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The essay also provides specific details and examples to support the main points. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more detailed comparison of the data.
Suggestions
- Provide a more detailed comparison of the data to help the reader understand the information better.
- Include more specific data and details to support the main points.