Task 1: The graphs below compare the water levels of six cities in Australia during October 2009 and October 2010. Provide an overview of the information by identifying and describing the key details, and include comparisons where appropriate. Water levels in reservoirs (% of maximum) 120 100 80 60 Percentage 40 20 O Darwin Sydney Melbourne Brisbane Perth Canberra Oct 2009 Oct 2010
The bar chart illustrates water reservoirs in six Australian cities—Darwin, Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth, and Canberra—for 2009 and 2010, measured as a percentage of maximum capacity.
Overall, Sydney and Canberra were two cities with the largest water supplies in both given years, with their reservoirs filled with more water over the year.In fact, Canberras reservoir was filled to its maximum capacity. While Melbourne and Perth grow substantially, the reverse was observed in Darwin city, where its water level decreased by double. Brisbane, however, was one city that stayed unchanged over the past two years.
The water level in the Sydney reservoir amounted to about 79 percent in 2009, slightly increasing to 80 percent in the year 2010. Canberra’s water supplies also increased but more significantly from an initial 78 percent to approximately 99 percent in 2009 and 2010, respectively.The rise of the water level was observed In other parts of Australia. In both Melbourne and Perth, water supply had significantly increased , the former being much lower in 2009 with above 20 percent to under 40 percent, the latter, however, figuratively doubled, starting from 21 and ending with 40 percent in 2009 and 2010.
Contrastingly to the above-mentioned cities, Darwin decreased its water reservoir by 42 percent in 2009, halved by declining to 22 percent a year later. Brisbane , on the other hand,maintained the same water level in its reservoir in both years, at 55 percent.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The information flows well with appropriate use of linking words and cohesive devices. However, there are a few areas where the flow of information could be improved.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Consider using more varied sentence structures to introduce and explain the data.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and some awareness of collocation. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures and some awareness of complex sentence formation. However, there are a few grammatical errors that affect the overall clarity of the writing.
The essay provides a clear overview of the data and makes relevant comparisons. The key features are identified and described, and the data is accurately and appropriately used to support the analysis. However, the essay could be improved by providing more detailed analysis and making more specific comparisons.
Suggestions
- Provide more detailed analysis and make more specific comparisons when describing the data.