Task 2
Some people believe that living a long way from city is giving more comfortable life ,but others argue that the better life is in a city . In yhis essay i will discuss both sides of this arguments and give my opinion
Living in the countryside is having as many benefits as living in the downtown. The first positive side to live in the rural area is ecology. When hime is far away from the city ,that is give a fresh oxygen and don’t damage any pollution. But when you live in the city centre , you have any facilities which you want ,such as : you don’t have any problems with electric, places : restaurants,shops or markets are near from you and you will have easy and comfortable life. The other advantage to live in a countryside is silence . Your home is long away from noise ,si that’s why you will live in a calm and quite atmosphereAlso life in the city has own benefit and it is may be a finding a career which you want . It is easier and better to find a new job or start your career in the city rather than in the countryside.
However,in my opinion,for the best choice would be to live in the city center,despite air pollution or noises from outside.When you are in the city , you don’t have to spend much time to get somewhere , because every facilities are near to your house. Also you will have a lot of opportunities for your high education and well pass your any exams because of your hard study and which can influence your future life . To make your future better and successfully you have to study , instead of spending all time on the garden or at home . Also in the countryside is no electricity, so that’s why electronic devices don’t work well , but half of our life consists of electronic gadgets and without energy they can’t work.
In conclusion,i think both sides ,living in the downtown or in the rural ares have their own benefits and drawbacks ,but living in the city life is more convenient and easier to come true to your wishes
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion. Transitions like “However” and “Also” are used, but the overall cohesion could be improved with more varied linking words and clearer topic sentences. The connection between ideas sometimes feels abrupt or unclear, which can confuse the reader.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “ecology,” “pollution,” “career,” and “electronic devices.” However, there are instances of awkward or incorrect word choices (“hime” instead of “time,” “si” instead of “so,” “quite atmosphere” instead of “quiet atmosphere”), which can distract the reader and detract from the clarity of the argument.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that can hinder comprehension. Issues include subject-verb agreement (“living in the countryside is having”), article use (“the rural area”), and preposition use (“in the city” vs. “downtown”), as well as some awkward phrasing that could be simplified for clarity.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the benefits of both living in the countryside and living in the city. The writer presents a clear opinion that city life is more convenient and easier to achieve one’s wishes, citing proximity to facilities and opportunities as advantages. However, the argument could be more fully developed with deeper analysis of the implications of these points.
Suggestions
- Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point or idea.