Task 2 : Children learn more from playing freely after school than doing more organized after school activities .

Having done schooling, children get more with playing independently, as opposed to taking part in more specialized educational settings after the activities of school. I believe that they gain more from playing freely in their own time. Unstructured play fosters creativity, emotional intelligence and other skills in way that extracurricular cannot give.
To begin with free play, it allows them to create their own world by using their imagination. It also has significant role in shaping their critical thinking . For Instance , If children are busy with some kind of games with their peers , it is usual thing that they come across struggles to come into the agreement or find correct ways of solving them. And at that state , the problem –solving , social skills and creative thinking of the children start to develop naturally day by day . This form of play gives convenient atmosphere to explore their abilities such as cognitive , physical, innovative and feel freedom of choice without fear of failure in a less restrictive environment.
Furthermore , the children who are negotiated with structured systems and schedules, tend to have multidimensional skills as those deal with various activities at the same time. They also offer some benefits such as the development of self –regulation, specific skills and discipline. However it may cause less sense of autonomy, some stress. As an example, sport is constrained after-school activity and then it sometimes demands to follow some strict rules . Although it serves as a body’s natural mood enhancer and beneficial their overall well- being, it can suppress their intrinsic motivation in contrast to outdoor play which is more likely to foster their self-esteem. For example, a child who is engaged with outdoor play have own desire for exploratory learning .
In conclusion , both have its beneficial sides such as discipline , emotional and mental well-being. Free play is more useful in promoting a child’s creativity by allowing them to explore their interests and experience the world on their own .

7.0

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “negotiated with structured systems and schedules” is not the most natural phrasing; “accustomed to structured systems and schedules” would be more appropriate. Refining word choice and ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, using a wider variety of vocabulary will make the essay more engaging to the reader.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction. The essay contains a few grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. For example, “the children who are negotiated with structured systems and schedules” is awkward and could be phrased more naturally. Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay. Additionally, varying sentence structures will make the essay more engaging to read.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the benefits of free play as opposed to structured play. The writer presents a clear thesis in the introduction and supports it with relevant examples and explanations. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a more formal tone and style.