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Task 2 DOUBLE QUESTION ESSAY In many countries, the number of crimes committed by teenagers is increasing. What are the causes of this problem? What solutions can be implemented to address it?

In many countries, amount of offenses which is committed by adolescents are increasing. These issues have underlying causes that require attention and effective solutions are needed to minimize crimes.
There are several contributing factors to an emerging trend, one of which is cutting-edge technologies. This is primarily because when youngsters spend hours scrolling their social media feeds and playing criminalistic video games, their desire to do crimes can be seriously affected, which may eventually result in juvenile delinquency. In addition, most youths have their leisure time and they don’t know how to amuse on that time. This serves as a notable example in this case, painting the full picture of the situation. Another reason behind the given development is that the increasing number of ignorant teenagers. This is mainly caused by parents who disregard their children that leads to wasting time instead of studying .If left unaddressed, the issue among youngsters is likely to become more concerning.
Nevertheless, numerous steps can be taken to overcome the challenge. One viable solution could be to construct support facilities for the use of young generation to spend time productively. Firstly, this solution can be supported by governments because of their funding and legislation, which makes even more impactful and straightforward. Once successfully implemented, positive changes can be seen that young children’s time pass wisely instead of video games. Secondly, parents can make a major difference to improve the situation. This measure is enforced through parental supervision over their children’s studies, work, and overall lifestyle. The combination of these solutions can, therefore, yield desired outcomes and eliminate the issue from its root.
In conclusion, juvenile delinquency is mainly caused by lack of parental attention, negative media influence, . However, by working together, parents, schools, and governments can create a better environment for teenagers. This will help them stay on the right path and reduce crime in society.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.

Suggestions
  • Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
  • Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “juvenile delinquency,” “ignorant teenagers,” and “support facilities.” However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, such as “criminalistic video games” (should be “violent video games”) and “children’s time pass wisely instead of video games.”

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures effectively, combining simple and complex sentences to convey complex ideas. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity, such as “This serves as a notable example in this case, painting the full picture of the situation” (should be “This serves as a notable example in this case and paints the full picture of the situation”) and “Secondly, parents can make a major difference to improve the situation” (should be “Secondly, parents can make a major difference in improving the situation”).

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the causes of the increase in crimes committed by teenagers and proposing solutions to address the issue. The writer provides a clear introduction and conclusion, and the body paragraphs each focus on a single cause or solution, which is clearly explained and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could benefit from a more in-depth analysis of the causes and solutions proposed.

Suggestions
  • Provide a more in-depth analysis of the causes and solutions proposed.