▎Task 2: Essay Write an essay about the impact of technology on education. Include: • An introduction that outlines the role of technology in modern education • At least two positive impacts of technology on learning (e.g., accessibility, interactive learning) • At least two negative impacts of technology on education (e.g., distractions, reliance on devices) • A conclusion that reflects on the balance between technology and traditional teaching methods
Nowadays, it can be clearly seen that technology influenced our education process. In this essay, I will explore its both negative and positive influences.
On the one hand, technologies can be a positive development, unless the students utilize it for appropriate ways. First and foremost, it is a useful item for candidates who want to learn things by purchasing online educational courses. Owing to its ability to create opportunities for students to learn languages or other subjects while solely watching videos on the phone, most of the parents allow their children to utilize phones. Moreover, in recent years, students prefer to learn things from the online courses instead of traditional schools, owing to the decrease in teaching children efficiently in the lessons of the school.
On the other hand, it has some drawbacks for students. Owing to some children purchasing phones to play games or watching videos on the media instead of learning anything, most of the parents regret allowing their children to utilize their phones. Furthermore, it is true that most of the students use it for education, however, they utilize it for doing their homework with cheating. As a result, they apply for the university, but they cannot enter the university with their cheating on the lessons.
To sum up, technology may influence our education with both its advantages and disadvantageous sides.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive, summarizing the main points discussed rather than just restating the introduction.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to provide a comprehensive summary of your main points.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to convey the ideas more effectively.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage that can be distracting. The essay demonstrates a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with some flexibility in sentence structure. However, there are a few instances of incorrect or awkward grammatical constructions that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied sentence structures could help to make the writing more engaging and dynamic.
The essay addresses the task and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both the positive and negative impacts of technology on education. However, the ideas could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive, summarizing the main points discussed rather than just restating the introduction.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and is well-developed.