TASK 2 : Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People have different views about the improvement of technology can lead to reduce or increase crime rates, while others contemplate that crime is one of the worst issues in our society, can origin by technological advancements, including but limited to social media and artificial intelligence. I am of the opinipn that it can play a crucial role in our society in reducing crime.
On the one hand, there could be several reasons why others think that the progress of technology can give rise to enhance crime, ranging from cybercrime to hacking. First of all, the reason why enhancing technology helps to encourage crime is that it is true to cause some kind of offenses, including but limited to identify theft and deepfake technology , to say the least.. Secondly, cybercrime and hacking are becoming more and more globalization among criminals earning a lot of money through unlawfully. As a consequence, the population saving their money in bank or credit card suffer from such kind of crimes thanks to law enforcement could not ban this.
On the other hand,
there could be several reasons why technology improvements which is one of the best way to avoid crime rates can be beneficial for our government. The reason why the progress of technology can lead to a lot of success in avoiding crime is that the law enforcement is making use of a lot of successful ways, ranging from cyber security to artificial intelligence , to say the least. In addition to this, faster relationships on the internet and monitoring systems can help to avoid crime rates that is why it can be the best way
In conclusion, while the improvement of technology are considered rates of boosting offense by some people, I believe that it can reduce this as one of the best fundamental factors of avoiding crime rates.
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The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect phrasing that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both the potential for technological advancements to reduce and increase crime rates, and the writer’s opinion that technology can play a crucial role in reducing crime. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay would benefit from more specific examples to support the points being made.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point or idea.