TASK 2: The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
IT IS COMMONLY ARGUED THAT THE BEST METHOD TO TEACH CHILDREN COLLABORATION IS BY TEAM-BASED SPORTS AT SCHOOL. WHILE I AGREE THE IDEA THAT TEAM-BASED SPORT ACTIVITIES IS BEST METHOD TO TEACHING COOPEATION, I DON’T BELIEVE THEY ARE ONLY WAY TO TEACH THEM COLLABORATION.
ON THE ONE HAND, TEAM SPORTS UNDOUBTEDLY PROVIDE BEST CHANCE FOR TEACHING COOPERATION. SUCH AS TEAM-BASED SPORT ACTIVITIES LIKE: FOOTBALL, BASKETBALL, VOLEYBALL REQUIRE CHILDREN TO WORK TOGETHER. WHILE THE ARE PLAYING THIS TEAM SPORTS, THEY CAN WORK SIDE BY SIDE BY MAKING PLANS AND STRUGGLE TO ACHIEVING THEIR GOALS. THEY LEARN TO SUPPORT AND COMMUNICATE WITH EAC OTHER. BY SUPPORTING AND PROVIDING HELP WHEN NEEDED EACH OTHER, TEAMMATES CAN LEARN TRUSTING AND RESPECTING ROLES OF OTHERS AT TEAM. THERE CAN BE DIFFEREBT SITUATIONS LIKE LOOSING AND WINNING AT SPORT. AT THAT TIMES, THEY SHARE THEIR EMOTIONS TO THEIR TEAM AND TRY TO RECOVER OR DEVELOP THEMSELVES TOGETHER. IT CAN ENHANCE THEIT RESILIENCE ON BOTH HAPPY AND DISSAPOINTING SITUATIONS ON THE LONG RUN.
HOWEVER, I BELIEVE THAT OTHER METHODS ALSO THE PRODUCTIVE WAY TO TEACH CLLOBORATION TO SCHOOL CHILDREN RATHER THAN TEAM SPORT ACTIVITIES. ACTIVITIES LIKE MAKING PROJECT WORKS. ORGANIZE EVENTS AND SPEECHES, MAKING ARTS CAN BE GOOD WAY TO COLLABORATING. IN THIS ACTIVITIES , THE CAN HAVE A COVERSATION TOGETHER AND START TO DEBATE THE TOPICS WITH TEIR PEERS. THIS KINDO OF METHODS, NOT ONLY HELP THEM LEARNING COLLOBORATION, BUT ALSO HELP THEM DEVELOP THEIR PROBLEM-SOLVING AND CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS. WORKING TOGETHER WITH TEAM AND COOPERATION ALLOWS THEM TO HANDLE HURDLES IN THEIR CAREER PATH AND TEACH THEM HOW TO COLLOBORATE WITH THEIR COUNTERPARTS.
IN CONCLUSION, WHILE TEAM SPORTS HAVE ADVANTAGES TO DEVELOP COLLOBORATION SKILLS, THERE OTHER FACTORS AND METHODS THAT EQUALLY IMPORTANT.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion, which aids in overall coherence. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward or incorrect, disrupting the flow. Additionally, the body paragraphs could be more clearly separated to enhance readability.
Suggestions
- Try to use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to link your ideas more clearly within and between paragraphs.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and some flexibility in use of words and phrases. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases that could be improved. The essay demonstrates a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of collaboration and teamwork. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices that could be clarified for better impact. Additionally, the use of more precise and varied vocabulary could help strengthen the argument.
The essay shows a good range of grammatical structures and is generally accurate. However, there are some minor errors that could be corrected. The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that can hinder clarity. Issues such as incorrect verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation are present. Proofreading for these errors is recommended. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures, such as subordinate clauses, could help demonstrate a higher level of proficiency.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay presents a clear position that team-based sport activities are the best method for teaching cooperation, but also acknowledges the value of other methods. The argument is generally well-developed, with relevant examples to support the points made. However, the introduction could more effectively set up the main points of the essay. Additionally, the conclusion could more strongly reinforce the main argument.
Suggestions
- Try to develop your argument more fully and provide more specific examples to support your points.
- Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay.