Technology
It’s true that developing of the modern technology has changed one fundamental ways, including the way we communicate, so there’s a view that human beings have become more sociable thanks to new innovations, while some people disagree in this statement. I personally believe that it has had a positive impact on communications.
Undoubtedly,certain negatives of modern technology are undeniable. Firstly, modern innovations like smartphones, the Internet, social networking platforms have a significant declined the value of face-to-face interaction. Before the age of smartphones, people had no choice but to communicate with each other in person, but in this technology-advanced era, people no longer feel the need for face-to-face connected, as they can easily contact with each other at a click of a button. Therefore, technology is sure to bring out several concerns regarding these communications.
However, I am of the opinion that the advances of modern devices has brought us closer due to some reasons. Firstly, today there are hundreds of social networking platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Telegram, which allow us to socialize. For example, on Facebook or Instagram, we can share our day-to-day life, which helps individuals to stay connected with their nearest and dearest every single day. As a result of this, human being create close limit communicate. Furthermore, communication has become much easier than ever before since the interaction mobile phones.
To conclude, as far as the modern technology is concerned, Although it can be detrimental for some people,
I still believe that it is down side can easily be our shadowed by upsides of it.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to convey the ideas more effectively.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect phrasing that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and complex sentence structures could help to convey the ideas more effectively.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the impact of modern technology on communication and providing arguments for both its positive and negative effects. The writer’s position is clear, and the essay is well-organized, with each paragraph focusing on a different aspect of the issue. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay would benefit from more specific examples to support the points made.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point or idea.