The bar char below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
The bar chart compares the amount of free time in a typical week spent by various employed males and females from 1998 to 1999.
Overall, it can be seen that men enjoyed their leisure time more than women, who are, however, only shown in the two categories, namely employed part-time and housewives. In addition, the same hours were spent by the jobless and retired genders.
Looking at the information in more detail, full-time employed men spent approximately 49 hours, which was ten higher than that of women who are in the same category. As for the hours spent by unemployed and retired people, the figures accounted for 85 for men and 75 for women, respectively, making this category the highest in hours spent weekly.
When it comes to gender employed for part-time jobs and housewives, there were not any numbers for men in both job categories, while housewives’ enjoyed hours were made up of about 55 hours, five hours more than other women who were employed in part-time jobs.
The essay is logically organized with a clear overview and detailed comparisons. However, some transitions and connections between ideas could be improved for better flow.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to connect ideas.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
- Avoid abrupt shifts between categories.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary accurately, though some expressions could be more varied and precise.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors that do not impede understanding.
The essay effectively addresses the task, providing a clear overview and detailed comparisons. All key features are covered.