The bar chart below show about the percentage of volunteers by sector between 2008 and 2014.
The two bar charts give information about the percentages of volunteers by sector between 2008 and 2014.
Overall, healthcare was the least popular at the beginning; it was the most popular at the end. In contrast, education was the most preferred at the beginning; it was the least preferred at the end. Another interesting point is that the environment has always been the most preferred sector during the period.
In detail, the percentage of healthcare volunteers experienced a significant increase of 7% to 25% between 2008 and 2014. Similarly, the proportion of environmental volunteers underwent a slight increase from 21% to 34% from 2008 to 2014.
In contrast, both other organizations and educational organizations experienced a decrease in the proportion of people volunteering in them. The rate for the other sector started at 15% and finished at 9% in 2014. The rate for education started at 24% and finished at 8% between 2008 and 2014.
In 2008, the percentage for art underwent a slight decline from 15% to 12% in 2014. Finally, the rate for sport experienced a decrease from 18% to 12% between 2008 and 2014.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and there is a good range of linking words. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more detailed comparison of the data in the overview and in the body paragraphs.
Suggestions
- Provide a more detailed comparison of the data in the overview and in the body paragraphs. This will help to provide a clearer picture of the trends and will make the essay more cohesive.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, the essay could be improved by using more varied and precise vocabulary to describe the data.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, the essay could be improved by using more varied sentence structures to provide a more detailed analysis of the data.
The essay provides a clear overview of the data and makes appropriate comparisons. The essay also provides a clear and detailed analysis of the data. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more detailed comparison of the data in the overview and in the body paragraphs.
Suggestions
- Provide a more detailed comparison of the data in the overview and in the body paragraphs. This will help to provide a clearer picture of the trends and will make the essay more cohesive.