The bar chart below shows information about the problems people have when they go to live in other countries.
The bar chart show the rate of problems people have when they live abroad.
Overall, while people aged 18-34 and 35-54 have higher percentage of problems in terms of making friends and finding somewhere to live in the study, the reverse was true for the oldest age group, with learning the local language becoming the highest trend .
The youngest group have making friends most at about 45%. this trouble is relatively lower in the second group at 36%, with learning the local language is the least difficult , 30% and 34% relatively . Interesting point is that these two groups have nearly the same percentage in ters of finding a place to live at ar roughly 30%.
Last, meanwhile, is an outlier in the graph. The preponderance of people over 55 fail to learn the local language . In comparison, making new friends and finding a place to live make only 20%.
The essay lacks clear structure and logical flow. Some comparisons are made, but transitions between points are weak.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
- Summarize key points in a conclusion.
The vocabulary is adequate but lacks variety. Some word choices are repetitive or informal.
There are noticeable grammatical errors and sentence structure issues.
The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed analysis and some inaccuracies are present.
Suggestions
- Provide more detailed analysis of each age group.
- Ensure data is accurately represented from the chart.