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the bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the USA , Canada. the UK and japan in 2009.

The chart illustrates the expenditure percents on five major categories in four differents countries in 2009,with taking the percent measurements. Overall, while the housing and transportation followed reverse trend against food category, healthcare and clothing accounted the least optimum spending on. The housing with huge glare rise in US was the most demanding in that year.
Looking through the first two comparisons of food and housing in 2009. In food category, the United States and Canada with mild variation consisted of 15 %. But they revealed very clear distinct differences in housing,former of which reached 27 % and letter of which was 22%, from that of food category. At the mean time, the UK and Japan were in opposing categories,as the first considered 3% less share from second one. However, they changed the order in the housing and followed closely behind were the UK 24% and the Jpan 22%.
With leaving the transportation in sole setting, it showed the raw 5% changes in three countries but US. It witnessed 18%. While showing the sensible least trends in those given countries in both health care and clothing, the US was also in its peak in terms of spendings for healing patients. Although the Canada and Japan were in the same 4% share, the UK was the most less spent trend : 2%. With almost stability of all trends, the Japan and the UK were smiliarly in an alike amount of percent to that of Canada and the Japan did in health care. The Canada and the UK crossed the line up to 5%.

5.5

The essay has a logical flow of information and ideas are linked together, but there are some unclear sentences which affect the overall understanding.

Suggestions
  • Make sure each sentence is clear and contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.
  • Use a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs.

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary but there are some inappropriate word choices and spelling errors.

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that reduce clarity.

The essay provides an adequate response to the task. It describes the bar chart and attempts to provide details about the data. However, the overview is not fully developed and some details are unclear.

Suggestions
  • Ensure that the overview is comprehensive and clearly summarises the main trends and differences in the data.
  • Provide clear and detailed explanations for each point in the body paragraphs.