The bar chart below shows the percentage of adults by age group in the UK who used the internet every day in the years 2003-2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart compares five different age groups in terms of their daily internet users in the UK. The data is broken down from into the years from 2003 to 2006.
Overall, the shares of people in all categories showed an upward trend. It is also clear that the percentage of the internet users in 16-24 group was the highest throughout.
In 2003, more than 80% of people used the internet in 16-24 group, which rose to nearly 87% in 2006, less than a staggering 92% in 2005. Another increase was observed in 25-44 age group, which accounted for 68% in 2003, and rose by ten percentage point in 2006.
The figures for the other three age groups –– 45-54, 55-64, and 65+ –– also adhered to increases. While the 45-54 group increased notably from 55% in the initial year to 70%, the proportion of users in 55-64 age group showed a two-fold increase, making up 32% in 2003 and 68% in 2006. The oldest group, albeit experiencing the most dramatic upstick , had relatively lower percent of utilizers, never reaching 22% in all years.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The use of cohesive devices is generally good, with appropriate use of referencing and linking words. However, there are a few instances where the use of cohesive devices could be improved to better connect ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, the overall cohesion of the essay is good, with a clear progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next. However, there are a few instances where the connection between ideas could be made clearer, particularly in the comparison of the different age groups.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
- Make sure that the connection between ideas is clear and that the progression from one paragraph to the next is smooth.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice, particularly in the use of prepositions and collocations. Additionally, the use of synonyms is generally good, but there are a few instances where the use of synonyms is awkward or incorrect, particularly in the use of ‘increase’ and ‘rise’.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction, particularly in the use of articles and prepositions. Additionally, the use of punctuation is generally good, but there are a few instances where the use of punctuation is incorrect or awkward, particularly in the use of commas.
The essay provides a clear overview of the main trends and makes relevant and accurate comparisons. However, the essay could be improved by providing more detailed explanations and by including more specific data to support the points made. Additionally, the conclusion is missing, which is a significant omission.
Suggestions
- Provide more detailed explanations and include more specific data to support your points.
- Make sure to include a conclusion to summarize the main trends and to provide a final analysis.