The bar chart compares the number of paid and unpaid workers involved in four sports roles, namely coaching, referees, therapists and other sections, in the year of 2015 in an Australian town.
The bar chart compares the number of paid and unpaid workers across four roles in the sports section – coaching, referees, therapists, and unspecified sections – in a particular Australian town in 2015. Overall, with the exception of referees, the number of volunteers in all sports roles was higher compared to workers who were paid for their jobs, with volunteers being more in coaching. The disparities in worker quantity in referees, therapists, and other unmentioned sectors were very small, whereas the reverse was true for coaching.
Looking at the number of volunteers in more detail, coaching topped the chart, with it employing just over 70 volunteers, and this was distantly followed by unspecified sections at almost 60 unpaid workers. The number of people working in therapists and referees for free ranked third and fourth, giving a job for about 42 and 31 volunteers, respectively.
Moving on to the figures for paid employees, unmentioned jobs had the highest quantity of workers who were given wage-called money, at nearly 50, which was slightly higher than that of coaching, making up approximately 43 paid workers. The number of people working as referees and therapists who were paid was more or less the same, with respective figures of 40 and 39 people.
Words: 206
The essay is generally well-organized with clear paragraphing. There is a logical progression of ideas, although some transitions could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more transitional phrases to connect ideas.
- Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
- Clarify the comparison between paid and unpaid roles.
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied. Some expressions could be more precise or formal.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.
The essay effectively addresses the task, providing a clear overview and detailed comparisons. Some minor details could be more precise.
Suggestions
- Ensure all data mentioned aligns with the chart.
- Provide a brief introduction and conclusion to frame the response.