the bar chart shiws the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 toi 2008.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of individuals in the UK who consumed five servings of fruits and vegetables daily between 2001 and 2008.
Overall, the figures for women, men and children increased of varying degrees. Moreover, women stood out among other ganders with consistently higher figures in each year, despite a decline in final year.
In detail, the proportion of women started at roughly 23 % in 2001 and this was followed by a gradual growth to 35 % in 2006. However, a minimal drop was seen in its figure to 30 % in the end of period. Similarly, the number of men who ate five servings of fruits and vegetables increased markedly with at around 27 % in 2007, before dropping to just below 25 % in final year.
In terms of children’s consumption, it accounted for approximately 13 % in initial year, a figure that then rose to 26 % in 2007 and then there was a negligible fall in its figure in 2008.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The writer uses appropriate cohesive devices and paragraphing. However, there are a few areas where the flow of information could be improved.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The writer uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are very few grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence structure.
The essay provides a clear overview of the information presented in the bar chart and makes appropriate comparisons. The writer identifies key trends and provides specific details to support their analysis. However, the writer could provide a more detailed analysis of the data, including an explanation of the significance of the trends.
Suggestions
- Provide a more detailed analysis of the data, including an explanation of the significance of the trends.
- Consider discussing the overall trend or pattern in more detail in the overview section.