The bar chart shows average years individuals in different age groups (25-35,35-45) can stay in one job in Europe and the USA between 1990 and 2015.
The bar chart presents the average years of staying in one workplace among Europe and USA with different age groups that includes people who were 25-45 from 1990 to 2015.
Overall, Europeans who were at the age of 35-45 used to stay in one job all the period of given years while USA and other Europeans whose age ranged from 25 to 35 remained in their previous employment less than others.
Looking into details, it seems that although European people aged 35-45 shows fluctuations over the years, it remained its dominance and had highest proportions for around 11 employees respectively. Other junior workers (25-35) from USA and Europe did not stay longer in one workplace and it ranged about to 3-4 remains altogether.
To consider countries with relatively high proportions, individual senior workers from US (35-45) had stably more numbers of stay than junior ones for around 7-8 people during these three decades.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence structure.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and examples.
Suggestions
- Include specific data from the bar chart to support your main points.
- Consider comparing and contrasting the data more explicitly to provide a clearer and more detailed analysis.