The bar chart shows the levels of physical activity Australian majority from different ages in 2010
The bar chart shows the levels of physical activity Australian majority from different ages in 2010 .
In the youngest age, men were more active than women, this data for peoples in 25 to 34 ages, where women’s more do activities than men’s. The chart shows that this is resumed to middle-aged being actively compared to men’s In older ages, the comparison between men and women became less.
In 55 to 64 group Females more actively than males but in the Oldest category they were some degree; doing physical activity. In the overall where younger male were more active than woman, However in middle-aged men’s were less active than woman’s because they looking for the is body and doing any dancing, fitness activities, But in the oldest ages the degree of activity were the sauce lev they are equal .
But in the older ages our grands become more less healthy because in the younger age they were doing the same things if they participate in the fitnesses they would be in the old age more powerful because their daily routine would be fenomenoum
The essay lacks clear structure and logical progression. Ideas are not well-organized, and the transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak.
Suggestions
- Use clear paragraphing to separate different age groups.
- Improve transitions between ideas for better flow.
- Ensure each sentence logically follows the previous one.
The vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate. There is a lack of variety in word choice, and some words are used incorrectly.
There are frequent grammatical errors and incorrect sentence structures. The range of grammatical structures is limited.
The essay addresses the task but lacks detail and clarity. Some information is inaccurate or unclear.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific data from the chart.
- Ensure accurate representation of the information.
- Clarify comparisons between age groups and genders.