The bar chart shows the number of hours worked per week by men and women in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart provides information about how many hours males and females worked in each week in Australia.
Overall, males predominantly worked longer hours, whereas females tended to work shorter hours in Australia. Additionally, both genders worked over 80 hours.
While women who worked between 0 and 10 hours, accounted for 15 %, which is triple the 5 % of males. Additionally, the percentage of women working 10 to 20 hours, was about 22 %, which is double the approximately 11 % of men. Females , who worked between 30 and 50 hours accounted for 35 %, whereas males made up around 44 percent, which was a moderate discrepancy.
There was a noticeable difference in the 60 to 80 hours category, with approximately 19% of females compared to exactly 30 percent of males, which meant males worked respectively longer hours than females. For those working over 80 hours, both genders recorded an equal 10 %.
The essay presents information in a logical order, but some sentences lack clear connections. There is a need for smoother transitions between points.
Suggestions
- Use linking words to improve flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
- Avoid abrupt shifts between data points.
The vocabulary used is appropriate, with some variety. However, there are occasional repetitions and minor inaccuracies.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, with occasional errors that do not impede understanding.
The essay addresses the task and includes relevant data. However, some comparisons could be more detailed.
Suggestions
- Provide more detailed comparisons.
- Ensure all key data points are covered.
- Avoid overgeneralizations.