The bar chart shows the number of hours worked per week by men and women in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart provides information about how many hours males and females worked in each week in Australia.
Overall, it can be seen that while males mostly worked long hours, females mostly worked shorter hours. Additionally, both genders worked equally over 80 hours.
While women worked between 0 and 10 hours, accounted for 15 %, tripled the 5 % of males. Additionally, the percentage of women ,worked from 10 to 20 hours, was about 22 %, doubled the around 11 % of men. Despite females, worked between 30 and 50 hours, accounted for 35 %, males’ figure were moderately larger, made up approximately 44 %.
There was a noticeable difference between males and females ,worked about 60 to 80 hours and whereas the proportion of females was roughly 19 percent, men’s percentage was exactly 30 percent. In terms of women and men worked over 80 hours, both genders’ recorded an equal 10 %.
The essay presents information in a logical order, but there are issues with sentence structure and punctuation that affect the flow.
Suggestions
- Use linking words to improve cohesion.
- Ensure each sentence contributes to the overall coherence.
- Avoid unnecessary commas.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but some word choices are awkward or repetitive.
The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures.
The essay addresses the task, summarizing and comparing key features of the data, but could provide more detailed analysis.
Suggestions
- Include more detailed comparisons.
- Ensure all key features are highlighted.