The bar chart shows the percentage of adult male smokers in seven countries along with the world average in 2000 and 2015.
The bar chart provides information about the adult male smokers in seven counties, including Armenia, Egypt, Lebanon, Bangladesh, Cuba, Mexico, Australia, and the statistic in the whole world. The data is measured in percentages (% of male population) and given two years — 2000 and 2015.
Overall, it can be seen that some regions, such as Armenia, Bangladesh, Cuba, Mexico, and Australia illustrate a downward trend from 2000 to 2015, while Egypt, Lebanon and world statistic show an upward pattern.
More specifically, the highest level of smokers in 2000 demonstrates Armenia, accounting for approximately 66%. This is followed Bangladesh (about 63%), further the adult male smokers in Cuba accounting for 53%. Remaining regions (Egypt, Lebanon, Mexico, and Australia) illustrate approximately the similar level, from 28% to 35%. Moreover, the largest proportion of smokers in 2015 demonstrates Cuba (52%), then Armenia and Egypt, 51% and 49% respectively. Lebanon accounting for 43%, while Bangladesh only 39%. The lowest level shows Australia and Mexico, from 18% to 20%. The proportion of smokers in the world accounting for 42% in 2000, and 34% in 2015.
The essay generally follows a logical structure, but there are areas where cohesion could be improved. Transitions between ideas are present but could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to enhance flow.
- Ensure consistency in describing data.
- Avoid abrupt shifts between data points.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary, though some word choices could be more precise. There is occasional repetition.
The essay contains a range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity.
The essay addresses the task and provides an overview of the data. However, some details are inaccurately reported.
Suggestions
- Verify data accuracy against the chart.
- Ensure all data points mentioned are relevant and correctly interpreted.