The bar chat compares the participation of boys and girls in various extracurricular sporting activities in Australia in 2010
The bar chat compares the participation of boys and girls in various extracurricular sporting activities in Australia in 2010.Overall,while boys had higher participation levels in basketball and football,girls were more involved in swimming and netball.Notably,football exhibited the most significant gender gap.
Football was the most popular sport among boys,with 20/ participating,compared to just 4/ of girls,highlighting a pronounced gender disparity.Basketball also saw slightly higher participation among boys,with around 8/ compared to 7/ of girls.
In contrast,girls outnumbered boys in netball and swimming.Netball showed the most significant gender gap in favour of girls,with 17% of g8rls participating compared to a mere 3% of boys.Swimming was a popular sport for both genders,though a slightly higher percentage of girls (16%)participated compared to boys(13%).Additionally,the share of girls not participating in any sports was slightly higher than of boys,at 5% versus 4%.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the data. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and there is a good balance between the description of boys’ and girls’ participation in different sports.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to make the essay more varied and interesting.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. The vocabulary is generally used appropriately, with some minor errors.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and the majority of sentences are error-free. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The essay also provides specific details and examples to support the main points.
Suggestions
- Make sure to accurately report the data, including the correct use of percentages.
- Be mindful of spacing and punctuation to ensure the data is presented clearly.