The best way to improve health is to exercise daily. To what extent do you agree?
Many people believe that the best method to improve their health is a regular workout. I agree with this extent since doing exercises has a great deal of benefits. In fact, there are other ways to improve physical condition too.
Being active has been shown to have many health benefits, both physically and mentally. It may even help youlive longer. Exercisehas been shown to improve your mood and decrease feelings of depression, anxiety, and stress. Also, being active plays a vital role in building and maintaining strong muscles and bones, exercise can help boost yourenergy levels while helping to reduce fatigue. This may help as atreatment method if you have certain health conditions, such as cancer.
But, there is an another great way to stay fit and healthy. A healthy diet is essential for good health and nutrition. It protects you against many chronic noncommunicable diseases, such as heart disease, diabetes and cancer. Eating a variety of foods and consuming less salt, sugars and saturated and industrially-produced trans-fats, are essential for healthy diet. A healthy diet is a foundation for health, well-being, optimal growth and development. It protects against all forms of malnutrition.Unhealthy diet is one of the leading risks for the global burden of disease.
To conclude, exercising each day along with consumption of nutrition rich diet is required simultaneously, in order to achieve goal of maintaining health or improving it. Too much of either one, can be harmful to human beings.
Therefore
, in my opinion, bodily training alone, cannot boost wellness.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with paragraphing and the use of linking words. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction clearly states the topic and your position, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The body paragraphs each discuss a different method of health improvement (exercise and a healthy diet), but the contrast between the two could be more effectively communicated. Using more explicit contrastive language (e.g., “On the one hand… On the other hand…”) would help to clearly delineate the two approaches. Additionally, within the body paragraphs, the use of pronouns and referencing could be clearer to help the reader follow your argument more easily. The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points but could be more comprehensive in linking back to the introduction and clearly stating your overall position.
Suggestions
- Use a wider range of linking words to show the relationships between your ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. Your vocabulary is generally appropriate for the task, with key health-related terms used accurately. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect phrasing that could be clarified. For example, “It may even help youlive longer” should be “It may even help you live longer.” Additionally, “exercise can help boost yourenergy levels” could be rephrased for clarity to “exercise can help boost your energy levels.” More precise and varied vocabulary could be used to discuss the specific benefits of exercise and a healthy diet (e.g., “aerobic exercise,” “antioxidant-rich foods”). Addressing these issues would enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are some issues with word form and article usage. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are a few errors that could be addressed for clarity. For example, “Being active has been shown to have many health benefits” is correctly phrased, but “exercise has been shown to improve your mood and decrease feelings of depression, anxiety, and stress” could be more directly linked to the specific types of exercise being discussed. Additionally, “A healthy diet is a foundation for health, well-being, optimal growth and development” could be more precisely phrased to avoid repetition (e.g., “A healthy diet forms the foundation for health, well-being, growth, and development”). Ensuring that your grammatical structures are used accurately and appropriately for the context will improve the overall quality of your writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. You have clearly addressed the topic by discussing the benefits of both exercise and a healthy diet for health improvement. Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the issue, and you provide a reasoned argument that supports your position. However, your essay could be strengthened by providing more specific examples or evidence to support your claims. For instance, you mention that exercise can improve mood and decrease feelings of depression, anxiety, and stress, but providing statistics or studies to support this would enhance your argument. Additionally, a more detailed discussion on how exercise and a healthy diet can be integrated for optimal health improvement could enrich your response.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments.
- Develop your ideas more fully to provide a more comprehensive response to the task.