The chart and table below give information about tourists at a particular holiday resort in Australia.
the pie chart and table shows about tourists by region and origin in one certain holiday resort in Australia.Overall,tourists from US and the Europe formed the majority of visitors to the resort,staying longer and on average compared to other groups.The
Accommodation and activity preferences also differ significantly.
The highest percentage of tourists came from US and Europe made up 35% and 37% respectively.They stayed the longest at the resort,with an average 16 and 14 days.European and American tourists differed in their choices of accomation.The former preferred stay in caravan or camping,while Americans favor in 4-star hotels.When it comes to activities Europeans prioritized swimming or sunbathing,in contrast Americans engaged in sightseeing.
Asia and other regions exhibited respective smaller figures the former accounted for 10%,the latter was 18%. From the table Asian tourists remained during the 7 days in 5-star hotel,by comparison tourists from other regions accommodated camping or caravan throughout 10 days. As a American tourists Asians participated in sightseeing and for people who came from other regions primarily engaged in surfing.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the information. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation, but these do not impede communication.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the information. However, the essay could be more concise and focused on the key features of the data.
Suggestions
- Try to be more concise in your writing and focus on the key features of the data.
- Avoid making unnecessary comparisons or assumptions that are not evident in the data.